Indian's are very logical, rational beings. Indeed, every decision will be thought through, no matter how insignificant. Even such issues as what to do with a spare 18 year old volunteer from the west, a scrawny, white lad with a decent aptitude for science and maths. As I said, much thought, much rationality and a strong application of logic.
Western Volunteer: "So is there any chance of regular work for me in the school?"
Headteacher: "Yes, Mr. Edmund you should be able to help with the basketball."
Edmund Stoer, 18, Loyola School's new basketball teacher.
I'm not even joking, I'm not even sure if it's funny. I've never played a proper game of basketball in my life let alone acquired enough knowledge to teach the game. Thankfully, no one cares about basketball in this school so my sheer incompetence shouldn't be noticed.
I've had one lesson so far because of the weekend and a national holiday on monday but during that lesson i taught nothing, i just let some 13 year old boys run about with a basketball. There were awful, there was one good player on each team and they scored all the points. Some of them even ran with the ball without bouncing it.
How though? How do you not know that in basketball you're meant to bounce the ball as you run?
That's what i thought in my head anyway, i like the kids though, they respect me cos im white. They actually stopped when i said "Stop, what are you doing?", as i berated one child who clearly wasn't taking the game seriously. They listened up good, maybe they'd forgotten that India had been independent for 50 years and didn't need to listen to the British anymore. But unfortunately they can't speak or understand english. One could say there is a language barrier but in this case the "barrier" is more like the Himalayan mountain range.
But yes, India gets more bizarre by the week. Whether i'm waking up to a beautiful warm text message from Cormac Griffin, watching the pigs scuttle round the sewers or indulging in some sweet bunce (cheap tasty bread) for a mere 8 rupees a pop. i'm quite enjoying india's surprises.
Thanks for reading.x
Wednesday, 28 January 2009
Tuesday, 20 January 2009
I've often pondered the age-old question of "Which religious order or group of religious men is the most solid?"
After a week in Mundgod, i now know the answer.
Tibetan monks.
These men are monsters, they ride motorbikes around townwith there heads shaved. Yesterday, i saw a young tibetan monk fully robed playing Grand Theft Auto Vice City on the pc in an internet cafe. Oh, those monks of Tibet, they never cease to amaze me.
But anyway, Mundgod has been interesting, i've been put in Loyola school but i have no work to do as of yet. I'm staying in a boys hostel for older students, my room is homely, especially the bathroom,i've got a bucket and a tap and a charming little hole in the ground. The worst part of my room is that there is an open sewer right outside my window, so ican smell it whilst i try to sleep. It's alright though, it's weird how you adjust to things.
More importantly, on Sunday I went to a little Siddi village with Fr. Francis and 3 other volunteers. We had mass and then played volleyball against the women & children of the village after. I was a little off my game admittedly, my confidence did sink when the opposing team began to hit the ball towards me as they knew i was the weakest player. However, in the true manner of a champion, i still managed to win 3 of the 4 games because alongside me was Fr. Francis, comfortably the best player on the court. Had it been football he'd have been an amalgamation of Michael Essien and Kaka, combining power, determination and work ethic with a subtle grace and lightness of touch.
That was not the end of my sportingactivity for this week oh no, i played basketball yesterday against Prasanth. Prasanth is a 19 year old "physical instructor" so essentially he is the school's PE teacher. Unfortunately though, he happens to be the least co-ordinated man i've ever seen. He's shorter than me, and not much heavier. I'm not sure whether he had ever played basketball before but he was terrible. I have only ever played basketball once i think and i know i am really quite incompetent. But he was just abysmal. He didn't even know how to shoot properly and all that is is throwing a ball using two hands.
Ah Prasanth, I do wonder how he got his job. Indian's care little for sport except for Cricket so there are very few athletes for a country this size. Everyone is thin and seemingly born without any natural agility or co-ordination.
Oh well, i just got interrupted because i got a call advertising wedding arrangements. Which obviously reminds me that i have a new phone number because i'm in India.
+919611972153
This has been a very long post, so i shall finish soon but before that i will announce my regret that i havent been able to get my pictures posted onto the internet yet. I've seen some bizarre things.
I once saw 8 people on one motorbike including a father, 6 small children and a grandfather. I've also seen two dogs fight over a large sheet of plastic wrapping then witnessed the crushing disappointment for the triumphant dog when he realised that the plastic wrapping wasn't edible.
Oh yeah, and yesterday i rode a bull-cart. If you don't know what is it's a little wooden cart pulled along by a bull. I suppose it's all in the name. But it doesn't matter, it was probably the most indian thing i've done since i got here. The fact that it was the least efficient mode of transport ever only made the experience sweeter.
One boy asked me after seeing my excitement at the bull-cart,
"Don't you have Bull-cart in UK?"
I just couldn't resist the urge to laugh in his face. He didn't mind, he's very thick-skinned is Joji.
Anyway, thanks for reading.
Ed x
After a week in Mundgod, i now know the answer.
Tibetan monks.
These men are monsters, they ride motorbikes around townwith there heads shaved. Yesterday, i saw a young tibetan monk fully robed playing Grand Theft Auto Vice City on the pc in an internet cafe. Oh, those monks of Tibet, they never cease to amaze me.
But anyway, Mundgod has been interesting, i've been put in Loyola school but i have no work to do as of yet. I'm staying in a boys hostel for older students, my room is homely, especially the bathroom,i've got a bucket and a tap and a charming little hole in the ground. The worst part of my room is that there is an open sewer right outside my window, so ican smell it whilst i try to sleep. It's alright though, it's weird how you adjust to things.
More importantly, on Sunday I went to a little Siddi village with Fr. Francis and 3 other volunteers. We had mass and then played volleyball against the women & children of the village after. I was a little off my game admittedly, my confidence did sink when the opposing team began to hit the ball towards me as they knew i was the weakest player. However, in the true manner of a champion, i still managed to win 3 of the 4 games because alongside me was Fr. Francis, comfortably the best player on the court. Had it been football he'd have been an amalgamation of Michael Essien and Kaka, combining power, determination and work ethic with a subtle grace and lightness of touch.
That was not the end of my sportingactivity for this week oh no, i played basketball yesterday against Prasanth. Prasanth is a 19 year old "physical instructor" so essentially he is the school's PE teacher. Unfortunately though, he happens to be the least co-ordinated man i've ever seen. He's shorter than me, and not much heavier. I'm not sure whether he had ever played basketball before but he was terrible. I have only ever played basketball once i think and i know i am really quite incompetent. But he was just abysmal. He didn't even know how to shoot properly and all that is is throwing a ball using two hands.
Ah Prasanth, I do wonder how he got his job. Indian's care little for sport except for Cricket so there are very few athletes for a country this size. Everyone is thin and seemingly born without any natural agility or co-ordination.
Oh well, i just got interrupted because i got a call advertising wedding arrangements. Which obviously reminds me that i have a new phone number because i'm in India.
+919611972153
This has been a very long post, so i shall finish soon but before that i will announce my regret that i havent been able to get my pictures posted onto the internet yet. I've seen some bizarre things.
I once saw 8 people on one motorbike including a father, 6 small children and a grandfather. I've also seen two dogs fight over a large sheet of plastic wrapping then witnessed the crushing disappointment for the triumphant dog when he realised that the plastic wrapping wasn't edible.
Oh yeah, and yesterday i rode a bull-cart. If you don't know what is it's a little wooden cart pulled along by a bull. I suppose it's all in the name. But it doesn't matter, it was probably the most indian thing i've done since i got here. The fact that it was the least efficient mode of transport ever only made the experience sweeter.
One boy asked me after seeing my excitement at the bull-cart,
"Don't you have Bull-cart in UK?"
I just couldn't resist the urge to laugh in his face. He didn't mind, he's very thick-skinned is Joji.
Anyway, thanks for reading.
Ed x
Monday, 12 January 2009
PS.
This is mainly for Allan Mackay and David Teenan, but OMG HOW ARE THE EAGLES PLAYING THE CARDINALS FOR THE NFC CHAMPIONSHIP?
I just went on nfl.com and was like WHAT HAS HAPPENED?
The Colts are out, the titans are out, the giants and the panthers are out. I love how either allan's team or hainey's team will be in the superbowl. I can't believe i'm missing this.
What a ridiculous set of playoff games.
Oh yeah, and here is my first uploaded photo from manvi. but tbh i dont know if it will work.
thanks for reading this and the last post which i also just posted. x
Sunday, 11 January 2009
Mundgod.
GENUINE BIG NEWS ALERT.
I’m being shipped off to Mundgod.
It sound’s quite a sinister place, doesn’t it? I am going there because there will be a police investigation in my school for 3 months and as we are technically illegal workers here, us westerners cannot stay.
I can't delve into the situation much unfortunately.
And for the more boring news, I was a bit ill through dehydration due to a lack of drinking water yesterday and so far in Manvi I have seen 4 lizards in my bathroom. One of them was dead, the other 3 very much alive.
I also made the a particularly pointless purchase, I bought a box of Choco-pops for 42 rupees. However, I then realised that we have no bowls in this place and the milk is buffalo milk. So i’ve just sat down and eaten half a box of dry choco-pops. They are Indian coco-pops if you hadn’t already figured.
I’m being shipped off to Mundgod.
It sound’s quite a sinister place, doesn’t it? I am going there because there will be a police investigation in my school for 3 months and as we are technically illegal workers here, us westerners cannot stay.
I can't delve into the situation much unfortunately.
And for the more boring news, I was a bit ill through dehydration due to a lack of drinking water yesterday and so far in Manvi I have seen 4 lizards in my bathroom. One of them was dead, the other 3 very much alive.
I also made the a particularly pointless purchase, I bought a box of Choco-pops for 42 rupees. However, I then realised that we have no bowls in this place and the milk is buffalo milk. So i’ve just sat down and eaten half a box of dry choco-pops. They are Indian coco-pops if you hadn’t already figured.
Friday, 9 January 2009
Go on Cormac, kill yourself.
Oh my goodness, thank God for rice. Plain boiled rice. It’s getting me through; I’ve had whole plates of it over the past few days. I’m not into that spicy stuff. But I just can’t get enough of that rice. It’s all I’ve eaten at meal times really. But I also like to indulge in some out of date produce from Raju down the road. I bought a litre of sprite and a packet of crisps today for 50 rupees (75p), bargain central in my eyes.
Time seems to be moving a bit faster. The first day or two was so slow, now this is my 6th day in India. I thought I had adjusted to the weather, but I really haven’t. In the summer it will be over 40C, it’s nowhere near that yet and I’m boiling.
My phone doesn’t work in India but I should be able to get an Indian simcard in the next few days which should be okay. I’ve not yet taken a class but I sat in on Simon’s classes today. He’s a German volunteer, he’s very efficient. Simon and his girlfriend, Amelie, are like the nicest people ever. They’re the 2nd best people in this place, the best being Praveen, the Jesuit badboy.
I don’t actually know Praveen that well, but he’s a Jesuit who has a t-shirt that says “Badboi”, he’s only 21, maybe that’s why he’s so bad to the bone.
I found a dead lizard in the bathroom yesterday, that was nice. Our bathroom is horrible, but we’ve got used to it.
I just realised that I have not yet mentioned my story from the sleeper train journey from Bangalore to Raichur. It was an 11 hour train ride and I had been chatting to some Indian lads coming back from university. There was a few of them, and with about half an hour to go to Raichur, some really bizarre Indian transvestites came into the bit where we were sitting and starting demanding money from the people we were sitting with. They were standing up and we were sitting down, they kept clapping their hands and clicking their fingers, shouting stuff, trying to intimidate them so they’d give up some cash. Curiously one of the transvestites looked like Ronaldinho, and wore a blue and dark red sari similar to that of Barcelona’s colours. Anyway, eventually these transvestites got a few coins out of the boys but still not satisfied, the main transvestite went up to one of them and stood over him, then started to lift up his Sari which obviously would have exposed this transvestites penis.
He got more cash in the end. But it was probably the strangest 5 minutes of my life.
Oh, also quite relevant, my favourite Indian song so far?
MY HEART IS SINGING! DANCING!
BALEH BALEH
BALEH BALEH
A little school kid called Madhu taught me that one. It’s a wicked tune, but my motion isn’t fluid enough yet to grace this song with a true exhibition of dance.
Hmm, I think I might be starting to smell of India.
You’ll know what that smells like when I get back.
Thanks for reading this, Ed.
Ps. this was written over a few days hence why it is so fragmented.
And also, i just read your comments, don't make jokes about food that's really not funny right now. i haven't seen an elephant and also allan, i have no idea who's gonna win the superbowl i cant believe the chargers though, how are they in the playoffs?
Time seems to be moving a bit faster. The first day or two was so slow, now this is my 6th day in India. I thought I had adjusted to the weather, but I really haven’t. In the summer it will be over 40C, it’s nowhere near that yet and I’m boiling.
My phone doesn’t work in India but I should be able to get an Indian simcard in the next few days which should be okay. I’ve not yet taken a class but I sat in on Simon’s classes today. He’s a German volunteer, he’s very efficient. Simon and his girlfriend, Amelie, are like the nicest people ever. They’re the 2nd best people in this place, the best being Praveen, the Jesuit badboy.
I don’t actually know Praveen that well, but he’s a Jesuit who has a t-shirt that says “Badboi”, he’s only 21, maybe that’s why he’s so bad to the bone.
I found a dead lizard in the bathroom yesterday, that was nice. Our bathroom is horrible, but we’ve got used to it.
I just realised that I have not yet mentioned my story from the sleeper train journey from Bangalore to Raichur. It was an 11 hour train ride and I had been chatting to some Indian lads coming back from university. There was a few of them, and with about half an hour to go to Raichur, some really bizarre Indian transvestites came into the bit where we were sitting and starting demanding money from the people we were sitting with. They were standing up and we were sitting down, they kept clapping their hands and clicking their fingers, shouting stuff, trying to intimidate them so they’d give up some cash. Curiously one of the transvestites looked like Ronaldinho, and wore a blue and dark red sari similar to that of Barcelona’s colours. Anyway, eventually these transvestites got a few coins out of the boys but still not satisfied, the main transvestite went up to one of them and stood over him, then started to lift up his Sari which obviously would have exposed this transvestites penis.
He got more cash in the end. But it was probably the strangest 5 minutes of my life.
Oh, also quite relevant, my favourite Indian song so far?
MY HEART IS SINGING! DANCING!
BALEH BALEH
BALEH BALEH
A little school kid called Madhu taught me that one. It’s a wicked tune, but my motion isn’t fluid enough yet to grace this song with a true exhibition of dance.
Hmm, I think I might be starting to smell of India.
You’ll know what that smells like when I get back.
Thanks for reading this, Ed.
Ps. this was written over a few days hence why it is so fragmented.
And also, i just read your comments, don't make jokes about food that's really not funny right now. i haven't seen an elephant and also allan, i have no idea who's gonna win the superbowl i cant believe the chargers though, how are they in the playoffs?
Thursday, 1 January 2009
Happy New Year
India is a ridiculous place, it really is.
Last night was New Years Eve and i celebrated the start of 2009 locked inside a jesuit hostel with no food and two bottles of water.
i was actually so hungry, i still am and its not 2.39 pm the next day.
theres a macdonalds down the road though, so ill get stuck in there later on.
It's been quite fun so far, except for when we couldn't find Mr Gupta, the ever-elusive taxi man, at the airport. We never did find him but we found one of his boys who sent us on our way.
Everything is so cheap, i just bought a bottle of sprite and a packet of crisps for 20 rupees. thats about 30p. and i get the feeling i could have got it cheaper too.
yesterday when i was walking along the main street i saw a place called glasgow computers, i was gonna buy a nintendo DS from there but i decided not too. although i would enjoy some pokemon right now. they didn't sell old cheap gameboys. such a shame.
more importantly, the enter button on this keyboard is broken and i'm currently sitting in this very warm internet "room". i am sad to announce that i am yet to see an elephant but i did experience the sweet indian roads where i swear i almost died like 7 times.
i dunno how much internet there'll be in manvi, i leave to go there tonight. but i thought i may as well hit this up right now whilst im in bangalore. Ummm, this place is just so warm.
talk to you soon.
ed
Last night was New Years Eve and i celebrated the start of 2009 locked inside a jesuit hostel with no food and two bottles of water.
i was actually so hungry, i still am and its not 2.39 pm the next day.
theres a macdonalds down the road though, so ill get stuck in there later on.
It's been quite fun so far, except for when we couldn't find Mr Gupta, the ever-elusive taxi man, at the airport. We never did find him but we found one of his boys who sent us on our way.
Everything is so cheap, i just bought a bottle of sprite and a packet of crisps for 20 rupees. thats about 30p. and i get the feeling i could have got it cheaper too.
yesterday when i was walking along the main street i saw a place called glasgow computers, i was gonna buy a nintendo DS from there but i decided not too. although i would enjoy some pokemon right now. they didn't sell old cheap gameboys. such a shame.
more importantly, the enter button on this keyboard is broken and i'm currently sitting in this very warm internet "room". i am sad to announce that i am yet to see an elephant but i did experience the sweet indian roads where i swear i almost died like 7 times.
i dunno how much internet there'll be in manvi, i leave to go there tonight. but i thought i may as well hit this up right now whilst im in bangalore. Ummm, this place is just so warm.
talk to you soon.
ed
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